Thursday, October 22, 2009

A mother's pleas, a Father's love

I find it amazing how God meets us where we are over and over and over again. I was certain that I was going to start not posting so much stuff about adoption on our blog ... it's not like we're in the process of adopting ... or anywhere close to it ... and really my followers aren't that large of a throng. I'm kinda typing to the choir so to speak. But then I was brought to THIS post this morning and once again it becomes so important to me to be a voice for those who don't have one. Even if it doesn't make a lot of sense in the realm of our family right now, maybe someone who is reading our blog is supposed to be encouraged or led through the words they read and this will be a stepping stone for them to speak out or act or become an advocate too. After all, it's not about me.

I read this post entitled ABANDONMENT this morning on the LWB blogsite and it is one you will need to get a kleenex box for because it will tear at your heart as a human, as a parent, as someone who is not perfect but also has imperfections even if they are not surface attributes, but deeply entrenched and not as easily seen. God sees. He knows our heart. He created us in our mother's womb and has known us from the start of time. And HE loves us in spite of it all. Deeply. Passionately. Forever. Never to abandon us.

I cannot CANNOT CANNNNNNOT imagine the pain these parents ... especially mothers ... endure. Looking down at their beautiful baby knowing that for whatever reason they cannot keep him or her. If they could just fix this or that and make it all right with the family, the society, whomever it is that is saying NO we cannot keep this child ... that has been a part of them for 9 months ... that IS a part of them still ... that they love regardless of whatever special need they have. Because I am sure most mothers would go through and do anything for their child. The questions that must swirl unbearably in their heads over their child as the impossible becomes the inevitable and they are forced by reality or the hands of another to let.go.of.their.child. Please make sure to click on the blue word above to read the original post. This paragraph especially gripped me. It describes LWB founder Amy at a cleft-lip clinic set up in a rural area and it spoke to my heart and I hope it does yours as well:

"I was sitting in the intake room one morning when an anxious young woman came running in holding a tiny bundle. I could immediately tell that the baby was a newborn, and I asked our Chinese director to break the bad news to the woman that the baby was far too young for surgery. As she was given the news, the young lady burst into tears and began pleading and begging to have her child be seen. My friend came over to me and told me that I needed to go and speak with the woman in private, and so I did. She pulled back the blanket to reveal a tiny baby girl with severe cleft lip. The mother told me that her daughter was 28 days old, and that their period of confinement was over in just 2 more days. As she was crying and talking, the mom kept kissing her baby's forehead, and she kept telling me again and again, "I love her....I love her so much."

But then she went on to tell me that her extended family would not accept her daughter since she had been born with a cleft lip. They felt this tiny baby would bring shame to them all. With tears streaming down her face, she told me that her mother-in-law was coming to take the baby away from her in two days' time. The mom was begging me to heal her daughter, to make her daughter beautiful, so that she could keep the baby that she had carried inside of her for 9 months….the daughter she loved completely. When I explained that the baby could not safely be put under anesthesia at four weeks of age, she fell on her knees and was sobbing at my feet, pleading and crying and begging me to help her. Right now...even typing this brings a pain to my chest that I cannot describe."

The pain that that story brings is nowhere near the anguish the mother felt. Pleading, begging ... knowing this was her. last. hope.
I have often wondered about children who are abandoned after a month or a couple of months ... what love the parents had for this child to hold out all hope for any solution other than abandoning them, knowing that with each moment, each sweet coo and breath they were falling more and more in love with their child ... and it takes me again back to this little boy ...

and his abandonment story at the doorstep of the civil affairs office after one month. Was his mother pleading with other family members to keep him knowing that without legs he would have such a difficult if not impossible time surviving or providing for himself let alone his family who would depend on him in their later years. I can imagine his mother unwrapping him from his newborn blankets praying each time that his legs were certainly just fine and that her previous thoughts that they were not was just a dream brought on by the slept deprivation of a new mother. I am certain that she loved him not only because he was abandoned at the one month mark and not a moment before. I know she loved him because I see it in his eyes and in his cheeks and on his forehead. I am sure that the kisses and tears that were placed on this child are still visible in the right light--especially in the light of a Father that sees all and heals all. I am praying each day for this little boy and so many others that they will find their Forever Families ... that instead of "No" a mother will hear "Yes" ... that a child will not be seen by what he or she doesn't have, but what he or she does.

“For I know the plans I have for you,”
" declares the LORD, "
“plans to prosper you and not to harm you,
plans to give you hope and a future.”
--Jeremiah 29:11


TanyaLea said...

So very thought provoking, Valerie. I love that post about adoption. You are speaking from your heart and God is using you as a vessel He is working through. I fully believe it is part of your own 'journey' that you just cannot see yet.

I often think of Khloe's birth family and the heartache of placing her where she could be found, hoping and praying someone could help her so that she could have a future. Things must've seemed so glim. I wish they could see her now! I wish they could know the love that is lavished upon her by ND and by her new family from half way around the world! I pray often that a Bible makes it's way into their hands nad that they come to have a personal relationship with Jesus so that one day they will meet up with Khloe again in Heaven! My heart aches just thinking about it.

Keep up the great posts. You will be blessed for you heart and faithfulness!! <><


Football & Fried Rice said...

Oh, Valerie - what a beautiful post! So sad! Tanya is right, God is using you to be a voice for those of His who don't have one!

Oh, to think of Mya's birth parents coming to Christ gives me goosebumps! I was reading a post the other day about the Bible smugglers into China and I thought for a second, it could happen. Why not? They could come to know their Savior and He could give them a peace that the daughter they placed at the entrance to the city park in the spring of 2006, that daughter, is thriving.

I often wonder if they even think she is alive. They left her very sick and it was very cold. She was deemed to die and yet God carried her to where she would be given a second chance at life. It wasn't a second chance to Him!!

It is beautiful to imagine Mya's story or Khloe's story or all of those whom we know and who made it. But very sad to think of all those who don't. All the children who need help and never get it..

Thank you for spreading the love!


P.s. love the quilts below!! WoW!

Tara Anderson said...

Valerie, even though your family is not in the process of adopting you can still be an orphan/adoption advocate. You make a GREAT one!!! Keep it up! :)

I read that story on the LWB blog and I sobbed my eyes out! It pains me to know that the joy I feel when my little girl is placed in my arms is the direct result of another mother's grief and loss. And like Tanya and Sara I pray so hard for my daughter's birthparents to come to Christ. It's bad enough she has to live without them in this life, but I want her to have them for her ETERNAL life! Oh how awesome that would be!!!

The family

The family